Man I've been grouchy lately. Life can get stressful. And when things pile up a little too high and I begin to feel overwhelmed, I sort of shut down and get nothing done. Well, not as much as I'd like anyway. Then I look at everyone around me and know that I'm not the only one with a full plate and so I tell myself to stop being a wimp. Which doesn't help. Why can't we just say, "Self, you are awesome. You are doing the best you can and anyone who thinks you aren't can just go..." I'll let you fill that in with your favorite saying or whatever. I have been stressed for a few reasons lately. Let me share. It is your lucky day, after all. I want to write. Write, write, write. But I'm also a teacher. And while teaching music is enjoyable, compared to writing it's kind of like having an empty popsicle stick. I look around and say, "Hey, who licked all of the ice cream off of my popsicle stick?" You tell me, if you had to choose between an empty popsicle stick and one covered with thick, smooth chocolate ice cream, which would you choose? But things aren't that simple. It is time to cut back on the teaching, however. The problem? How do I choose which students to let go of? It seriously has had me close to tears all day. Teaching music may be like an empty popsicle stick, but my students are like Jolly Ranchers: sweet, surprising, tart, fun, colorful. I hate to see any of them go. Cutting back is going to break my heart and some of their hearts as well. :(
Another thing that has been stressing me out is not having the time that I would like to write. I keep telling myself that the kids will be back in school in a week and there will be time. But you try telling myself something; it just doesn't listen; it's like talking to a brick wall. So, first novel (whom I love) you will have to wait. Next novel (whose essence I am smitten with) you will have to be patient.
Then my parents went and gave me apricots. Okay, I really am grateful, but apricots don't can themselves, you know. And finding time for a little bit of enjoyment or relaxation--think again!
My hubby and I went to see HP7 and I couldn't even enjoy it because I kept thinking of the apricots and my students and the Cinder and Ella proof that I need to go through.
So here's me begging you to share with me what stresses you out. Please, it will make me feel better. Not that it makes me happy to see others stressed; sometimes you just need to feel understood.