It's been a long time. So long that every time I try to post something, I end up distracted on the internet, scrolling through the posts of my facebook friends or searching for a job on craigslist because--let's face it people--authors are underpaid.
But here I am, ready to bleed on this page, not sure if it will be more like a drip, drip, or a constant steady flow.
It has been a rough couple of years. Let me first say that I am not posting this because I want sympathy, because I absolutely don't. I'm not sending this out to whine; I've done plenty of that. This post is simply an act of putting the pulse back into my blog and explaining why it died in the first place, which is complicated and may take a while. Not that I feel the need to explain, but it sort of represents the direction I want this blog to go. If I am going to blog, it has to be my way.
First, let me tell you what I think of the word "professional," because I've been told this is important to an author who blogs, and it is something I see when I take a trip through cyberspace checking out what this writer or that writer said on their blog today.
The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines professional as "of, relating to, or characteristic of a profession." Or perhaps these are the definitions I want: "c (1) : characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession (2) : exhibiting a courteous, conscientious, and generally businesslike manner in the workplace."
Well, by those definitions, if I am to keep my blog as an author "professional," I am to only post about writing, and probably shouldn't say anything offensive or share opinions, and should act in a "business like manner in the workplace" which is funny considering I sometimes write in my pajamas with bedhead or just after I've worked out and have sweat dripping from my skin, or often try to type a few more words as a child sits on my lap. This has been a conundrum for me from the beginning, and trying to follow this rule ultimately caused me to believe I had nothing left to say on the subject, or if I did, it was so far down on my list of important things to think about and address, that I refused to do it and waste the time that is so precious to me. And then I wonder, if we could go back 100 or 200 years, and read the blogs of Charles Dickens or Jane Austen and all we got to read about was their next appearance, or their current work in progress, or how they deal with the publishing world, would we still love them? Or would their writings become obsolete? They are authors. We listen to what they have to say because of their ideas, and the way they make us think about the world around us, not because they can put up several posts a week that revolve around their career. Trying to do this left me feeling so run down and empty that I just . . stopped.
That wasn't the only reason I stopped blogging. There are the other things, which I've obviously left for the end because they are deeper, more personal.
The last two years have been rocky, to say the least. With Cinder and Ella due to come out in a month or so, the opportunity to face some issues from my past presented itself, and I grabbed hold. This created a crazy environment in my life, which was made even more crazy by the decision to write Snow Whyte so quickly. A few months before Snow Whyte was to be released, I experienced another life-altering blow. I considered a lot of things during this time, the most extreme of which probably would have been ending my marriage. So while these last few years have been filled with exciting things like publication offers and book releases, they have also been filled with other things like therapy, support groups, depression, anxiety, spiritual growth, and an inexplicable desire to eat nothing but m & ms. Oh, and did I mention I moved across the country?
I believe the overall outcome of the last few years is great. I feel happier, more positive about the future, and in greater touch with myself than I can remember. And for those reasons alone, I cannot be restricted about blog topics. I've learned the importance of being true to myself, and of sharing what I know with others. I've learned what my priorities are, and interestingly enough, writing is somewhere toward the bottom of things I want to be working on and devoting my time to. It is still on the list, though, just at the bottom.
So, what will I be blogging about? Everything! Mothering; marriage; writing; the random philosophical thoughts that I often find lurking in my brain; my opinions; my beliefs about God and the universe; all the things I love; society; my love of the word of God; things I've learned and continue to learn in therapy and support groups. Have you gasped yet? I can only safely promise that I will not be blogging about politics. Why? Because I don't love politics and I don't know the subject well enough to talk about it. Everything else, as far as I'm concerned, is a possibility.
Another thing I am going to change is this: no comments. Why? Because I said so. It's my blog, which has now turned into a sort of life history or journal. If you like something you read here, please share it on facebook or twitter or over lunch with your best friend. If you don't like it, don't read it. If a certain brand of lemonade was too sour, or too sweet for you, would you keep drinking it? Or would you find another brand of lemonade? It's up to you. If I say something that you find so offensive or wrong or distasteful and you get angry, so angry that you think you might blow up if you can't comment, go to therapy. It helps. It really helps. If you don't agree with what I think and post here, you are free to start your own blog and post your own thoughts and beliefs.
Here is to a brand new blogging adventure.